Three types of chemistry

Talking to friends, i realized that there are three types of chemistry. I used to think chemistry was a single thing and it made it harder to understand what specifically clicks in certain relationships.

Intellectual chemistry: Do you enjoy hanging out with them? Share a sense of humor? Can spend lots of time talking to them? Enjoy doing activities together? Do you like how they think?

Physical chemistry: Are you physically attracted to them? Like the way they smell or feel? Want to hug and hold them?

I used to think of this as the same as sexual chemistry but those two are actually different. Related but not the same!

Emotional chemistry: Can you communicate clearly with each other? Do you trust their words? Can you be vulnerable with them? Do they support your emotional needs and help you grow? Give each other a healthy amount of space?

It takes different amounts of time to figure these out. Intellectual is probably the easiest to figure out, and emotional chemistry takes the longest.

Different people value these differently.

And different relationships have different proportions of each. Some partners don’t have physical chemistry, some don’t have intellectual chemistry, and you usually have intellectual and emotional chemistry with friends.

The main point here is that understanding what you’re experiencing can make things less confusing.